


an unplanned proclamation

by autumnchills



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anxious Evan "Buck" Buckley, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Coming Out, Evan "Buck" Buckley-centric, Firefam Feels, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Light Angst, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26072467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnchills/pseuds/autumnchills
Summary: Buck isn’t always one for planning. If it involves others or things outside of his expertise, he will, but otherwise, he’s always been a wing it sort of a guy— and he’s good at it. He’s always prided himself on that. He was the friend that people looked to for an adventure— it’d never been a bad thing. He just hopes that this specific unplanned thing plays out in his favor.See, Buck didn’t wake up with the plan to come out to all of his friends today, and yet here he was doing it anyway.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 22
Kudos: 263





	an unplanned proclamation

Buck isn’t always one for planning. If it involves others or things outside of his expertise, he will, but otherwise, he’s always been a wing it sort of a guy— and he’s good at it. He’s always prided himself on that. He was the friend that people looked to for an adventure— it’d never been a bad thing. He just hopes that this specific unplanned thing plays out in his favor. 

See, Buck didn’t wake up with the plan to come out to all of his friends today, and yet here he was doing it anyway.

It started with being bored.

It was late on a Saturday evening, and he had the next day off and nothing to do, so he downloaded Tinder. He didn’t really plan on hooking up with anyone, but it’s the only free “dating” app that he knew of and a confidence boost could never hurt. And who was to say that a real relationship couldn’t form from an app like this? He’d seen stories of such relationships online. 

His fun came to a sudden halt as the app asked him to choose who he’s interested in. 

It’s not that he’d never thought about it before— hell, he’d known for quite a while that he’s bisexual— it’s just that he’s never actually admitted it to anyone. 

In college, there had been experimenting and dating, but that’d been easy when he didn’t have to actually come out. He met guys at bars or in popular LGBT spots on and around campus. No one ever asked him who he wanted to be with, they only cared if he wanted to be with them. 

And Buck had been with many people. He’d learned a lot about himself, starting with the idea that bisexuality was hardly ever an even split. That attraction expanded beyond the gender binary. He took a Psychology course on Human Sexuality just to get a better understanding of it. (He took a lot of college courses just for better understandings of different things.) 

Of course, a textbook was never enough, and sometimes it was too much because it laid outlines and created barriers that Buck didn’t really think sexuality should have. 

Nonetheless, he knew. He knew he was bisexual and he was comfortable with that label. 

But he hadn’t been comfortable coming out at the station. 

One of his first roommates in Los Angeles had been a firefighter. He was openly gay and had been transferred three times. His final transfer had him leaving California altogether to start over. Buck had been surprised. This was  _ California _ for fuck’s sake, and Los Angeles was known to have one of the largest Pride Festivals. 

But hate could find its way into any nook and cranny, and where they lived didn’t dictate the kind of people who lived here.

That’d been five years ago, but Buck knew that things didn’t always change with time like the world liked to think. As long as Buck had worked at the 118, no one gave Hen shit for liking women, but he knows it hadn’t been easy for her in the beginning, and he can’t help but think about how different it’ll be for him to be a man who likes men in a man-dominated workplace. It terrified him. 

Buck deleted the app. 

But thoughts hadn’t stopped circling his brain since that evening nearly two weeks ago. And now, it feels like it’s eating him alive. 

Logically, he knows that he doesn’t owe it to anyone to disclose his sexuality, but he can’t help but feel as if he’s hiding this huge part of him from his friends. He can’t help but feel like he’s been suppressing part of himself to fit this image they have from his early months on the job. 

He loves his little found family— loves that they’ve all created something that he wasn’t fortunate enough to be born into, so he wants to tell them. 

He’s just scared.

They’ve literally never done anything to imply they’re not okay with men interested in men— hell, they’re all super supportive of Hen— but knowing this doesn’t shake the fear that there are negative feelings that have been well hidden and will make themselves known. Lord knows he’d seen enough of that with his parents.

So, Buck doesn’t plan to come out.

It just happens.

It just so happens that Hen comes into the station on a bright March morning with a blinding smile and an extra bit of pep in her step. It just so happens that she’s decided to volunteer to be a part of the LAFD’s Pride contingent this year. 

“They already have the exact dates out?” Eddie asks in confusion.

“Oh, Eddie,” she smiles at him. “Naive fool, they have been out for over a month. Hell, San Diego dropped their dates in  _ December _ .”

Eddie raises his eyebrows.

Hen ignores him and continues on talking about it.

She’s in charge of recruiting participants. No, they don’t get paid, but yes they would get to wear customized LAFD Pride gear and toss out such gear to crowds as they marched alongside or rode on a firetruck.

“No floats?” Chimney questions. “Seems a little flat for Pride.”

Hen raises her hand as if that’s something she’d been thinking.

“Unfortunately, no floats,” she says. “It costs less for gas for a ladder truck to drive the route than it would to make one. Plus, there weren’t enough volunteers to make that happen around everyone’s work schedules. Our hopes are that we can get enough people marching to make up for that.”

“Then sign us up,” Bobby says easily.

Buck’s heart skips a beat. 

Hen grimaces. “Yeah,” she drags slowly. “That’s another thing. Only LGBTQ+ members get to march,” she explains. “I think the only person marching that’s not is Chief Alonzo and he’s just doing that for appearances. Everyone on the team knows that, so we made that executive decision.”

Bobby nods in understanding.

But it’s at that point that something turns in Buck’s gut, pushing him to say something, step up and volunteer anyway.

The words are on the tip of his tongue, and in seconds, his palms are sweaty and his heart is racing like he’s in the middle of a burning building.

“If anyone wants to join,” Hen pipes up again, “just hit me up. I’m going to be talking to other stations for the next month trying to get people to join. Information will be on the flyer on the bulletin.”

He feels frozen. This is his chance. He should take it.

Hen raises an eyebrow at one of the women near the couches. 

“Martha’s trying to vacation that month,” the woman said in response to the look. “I’ll let you know.”

Hen merely nods in acceptance. He can tell she’d been hoping for others to at least offer some support, but aside from their small friend circle, no one else seems as inclined to care.

She’s already turning on her heels when Bobby shutting a kitchen cabinet startles him into speaking.

“Me!” is all Buck is able to blurt out.

_ See, Buck didn’t wake up with the plan to come out to all of his friends today, and yet here he was doing it anyway. _

“What?” Hen asks. 

Buck feels the words getting stuck in his throat. 

For fuck’s sake, could he just keep it together and get through this?

“I— uh. Me. I want to volunteer,” he finally clarifies. 

Hen sighs. “Buck, honey. I understand wanting to help but it’s—”

“Bi,” Buck blurts out next. And at Hen’s look of confusion, he immediately realizes that it sounds like he’s dismissing her. “Bisexual,” he states a moment later. “I’m bisexual.”

Silence falls over the group, and for a moment, Buck could swear the earth stops spinning, and he feels a bit like he might pass out any second.

“Yeah?” Hen asks, suddenly in front of him with a kind smile playing on her lips.

Practically out of words, he just nods. 

He doesn’t realize how tense he is until Hen is pulling him into a hug. He wraps his arms around her instantly and buries his face into her shoulder.

“That’s wonderful, Buck.”

The words are so simple and shouldn’t affect him so much, but they do. It’s such a stark contrast to how his parents had reacted, and he hadn’t even had the courage to say it out loud back then. He’d used a lot of creative words to bounce around the idea of “maybe, possibly being into guys someday.” It’d been a messy thing— explaining that he’s not gay, and that he hadn’t had feelings for a guy at that point, but that he didn’t see it as impossible. (It was the best way he knew how to come out without saying the words at the time. He’d called himself “open-minded,” but it didn’t change that his parents never treated him the same after that.)

“Bu—” Hen cuts herself off as she rubs her hand across his shoulder. “Hey, you’re shaking,” she mutters. 

She pulls away and suddenly Bobby is at his side. He puts a firm hand on his neck, and Buck can’t help but meet his eyes. If it were anyone else, he’s not sure he’d be able to. 

“Buck, you okay?” his captain asks.

Is he?

He glances to the side where Chim and Eddie stand. He can’t meet either of their gazes, and that’s enough for Bobby to get where Buck’s head is at.

“Buck, hey. Listen to me for a second, yeah?”

Buck turns back to Bobby and tries not to let his body shake itself apart.

“We love you,” Bobby says. He says it like it’s something Buck should already know— which he does, but things like that fall out of focus in fear of rejection. “This doesn’t change anything. You are still the same man we’ve known all this time, and this will not change how we see you.”

Buck nods again, head bobbing up and down rapidly.

At last, he finds his voice again.

“I’ve never actually said that out loud before,” he whispers. He sees Chimney move in his peripheral, but he doesn’t pay much mind to it. “I mean, I’ve known for a while, but I never actually referred to myself as that with my own voice. Is that weird?”

Eddie huffs in amusement. “Nah, man. These kinds of things gotta happen at your own pace. Whether or not you’ve said it… whether or not you’ve actually been with a man… none of that matters. What matters is what you feel and that you are comfortable with yourself.”

Hen nods along, and Buck has to hold himself back from commenting on how it sounds like he’s speaking from experience.

He also wishes he could come up with something a bit more eloquent than the, “Yeah,” that he acknowledges his best friend with.

“Thank you, guys,” he adds a moment later. 

Chimney reaches for Buck’s shoulder. His eyes look suspiciously glassy, something Buck will be sure to tease him about when he can form more than one coherent thought per minute.

“You don’t have to thank us, Buck. Now everyone, let’s get this group hug out of the way before an alarm ultimately interrupts—”

_ The alarm goes off. _

“Fucking typical!” Chimney yells, already turning for the stairs.

But it’s okay. His friends— his  _ real _ family— know and love him. That’s what matters. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this little ficlet took me way too long to post because I tried too hard to make a longer version and make it perfect. But nothing is perfect. It's why good enough is sometimes good enough. Sending love to all my LGBTQ+ friends. 💖🏳️🌈
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos, as they always encourage me to write more! If you feel I missed some necessary story tags please let me know what it is I should add. If a tag feels inaccurate, please feel free to let me know about that as well.
> 
> Special Thanks to my beta reader: [Aria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyShipSailsHere/pseuds/MyShipSailsHere)


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